There are a couple of new Chevy commercials out right now with Howie Long that I have a love-hate relationship with – have you seen the “They” and “Everyone” parodies? Not that I’m trying to sell you a Chevy, but check these out…
I love them (and hate them) because they are so representative of society at large and the contagious nature of misinformation … especially bad or negative misinformation. One person will have a problem with a new policy or idea that management puts out (something that 95% of people are happy with or at least neutral about) and some how this one person’s water-cooler complaining turns into a terrified manager sitting in the boss’s office that “everyone” is upset about this new change and “they” are all complaining about it.
But when you try to track down the actual unhappy people – the “they” and “everyone” who started the global negativity – so that you can address their issues and try to put them at ease with the change and the reasons behind it, you can’t actually find them. As you try and track it back, everyone you talk to says, well I don’t feel that way myself, I’m just passing along how so-and-so felt. But when you get to that so-and-so, they say the same thing. By the time you get to the end of the line, one – two at most – people actually had a problem, but they caused such a stir about it, it turned into “everyone feels that way.”
I’ve seen it in the media, in workplaces, in churches – and what’s most unfortunate is that this very small number of very loud naysayers prevent organizations from making the right, necessary changes toward progress for fear of the “they” and “everyone” that are misrepresented as a majority – they are not.
Why doesn’t the same hold true with positive messages? Consider this dream sequence … an organization makes a decision to change or reduce benefits or services and a couple of people who think that it was a good idea start a water-cooler stir that permeates the whole staff (congregation/membership/public) and before you know it “everyone” thinks the change is a great idea and “they” are very happy with management’s decision… and then we all wake up.
The solution? Next time someone complains to you about something that 1) you don’t actually have a problem with and 2) you do not have the power or authority to change, direct him or her to the person empowered to address it and LET IT DROP. Don’t contribute to the exponential growth of “they” and “everyone” – be a part of the solution by not perpetuating the gossip. Better yet, if you're happy with the decisions or changes, don't keep it a secret and allow people to assume the opposite simply because of the company you keep at the water cooler.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Attitude is a Choice
In my line of work I tend to hear more negatives from people than positives - FAR more. People don't make an appointment with me just to tell me how happy they are or how great things are going. More often than not it's an obligatory "Hello," close the door and let the complaining begin.
That's why I'm here, so I have no problem with that. The danger would be to assume, then, that every person you encounter is that unhappy, troubled, miserable. They're not. There are people who are actually happy with their life - really - and I count myself among them. Is my life perfect? NO. Do I have everything I want? NO. But those intrapersonal observations don't have to be an obstacle to my decision to be happy. And I do think happiness is a choice.
"As Good as it Gets" was on this afternoon and this scene really got me thinking...
There are people with good stories, happy stories, "good times, noodle salad." Even if they don't find their way on to my calendar, I choose to believe they are the majority.
My happiness is a choice. I've had my share of trials in life - more than most, perhaps - but why would I let that dictate my attitude?
Objectifying issues of emotional response are certainly more natural to some personality types over others, but it's a learned behavior... a choice. I think of that cliche "fake it 'til you make it." The next time you find your negativity from a problem issue spilling over into you attitude in general, make a deliberate choice to be in a good mood. You'll be amazed how contagious it can be and much that can improve your ability to solve the original problem.
That's why I'm here, so I have no problem with that. The danger would be to assume, then, that every person you encounter is that unhappy, troubled, miserable. They're not. There are people who are actually happy with their life - really - and I count myself among them. Is my life perfect? NO. Do I have everything I want? NO. But those intrapersonal observations don't have to be an obstacle to my decision to be happy. And I do think happiness is a choice.
"As Good as it Gets" was on this afternoon and this scene really got me thinking...
There are people with good stories, happy stories, "good times, noodle salad." Even if they don't find their way on to my calendar, I choose to believe they are the majority.
My happiness is a choice. I've had my share of trials in life - more than most, perhaps - but why would I let that dictate my attitude?
Objectifying issues of emotional response are certainly more natural to some personality types over others, but it's a learned behavior... a choice. I think of that cliche "fake it 'til you make it." The next time you find your negativity from a problem issue spilling over into you attitude in general, make a deliberate choice to be in a good mood. You'll be amazed how contagious it can be and much that can improve your ability to solve the original problem.
Emotional Intelligence and the MBTI
A few months back I began exploring the Bar-On EQ-i® (Emotional Quotient Inventory) as a tool to add to my inventory for the leadership and executive coaching I do. I have used the Myers-Briggs (MBTI) for quite some time and with great success – MBTI is great because it appeals and applies to such a broad cross-section of people – but I was looking for something that could address a narrower slice of behavioral issues that often seem to be a hinge for the success or failure of leaders.
After several months of independent study which included taking the Bar-On EQ-i® test and participating in a feedback session with a qualified administrator, my journey piqued with a three-day marathon, classroom style intensive, complete with written narrative and oral exams.
The process to become a certified EQ-i® practitioner was emotionally exhausting, but each time I add to my professional tool kit to better equip my executives for leadership, I end up getting as much or more out of it myself which makes me a better coach.
Unlike IQ (and unlike MBTI which are hard-wired and static) a person’s EQ can change – and arguably should change. The value of exploring and measuring your current emotional intelligence would be to identify areas that would be beneficial to develop.
The emotional intelligence model uses a tool (self-evaluation questionnaire) and a coach or trainer to aid in the emotional awareness and skill development of the participants. The Bar-On assessment evaluates the following scales:
Intrapersonal Components:
• Self-Regard • Emotional Self-Awareness • Assertiveness • Independence • Self-Actualization
Interpersonal Components:
• Empathy • Social Responsibility • Interpersonal Relationship
Stress Management Components:
• Stress Tolerance • Impulse Control
Adaptability Components:
• Reality Testing • Flexibility • Problem Solving
General Mood Components:
• Optimism • Happiness
Clearly there are elements of the EQ-i® that relate to elements of the Myers-Briggs model but there is no evidence to support that one “Type” or another would have a higher EQ score over another… unlike IQ, where studies have demonstrated consistently higher scores for certain Types over others.
One of the other major differences between EQ and Type is the components versus overall composite score aspect. In the Myers-Briggs model, it’s said that the “whole is greater than the some of its parts” meaning each of your four preferences will certainly have its own meaning in your life and how it plays out in your behavior, but it’s the combination of those four preferences and how they impact each other that is a greater behavioral indicator. The EQ, on the other hand, has greater meaning and value when exploring each individual element. The over all score – a composite average of the scores of the 15 elements – is not as valuable in determining a person’s EQ skills or abilities.
In the end, I think the EQ-i® is a great tool and I look forward to seeing how it can benefit the people I work with. As an MBTI practitioner, steeped in the Myers-Briggs vocabulary, I found it difficult to discuss observable behavior in the EQ class without using Type-language. I’m fortunate that most of the people I will be using EQ with also share that MBTI vocabulary… I look forward to the challenge of using the EQ model with someone who is unfamiliar with Type. The two tools do complement each other well.
After several months of independent study which included taking the Bar-On EQ-i® test and participating in a feedback session with a qualified administrator, my journey piqued with a three-day marathon, classroom style intensive, complete with written narrative and oral exams.
The process to become a certified EQ-i® practitioner was emotionally exhausting, but each time I add to my professional tool kit to better equip my executives for leadership, I end up getting as much or more out of it myself which makes me a better coach.
Unlike IQ (and unlike MBTI which are hard-wired and static) a person’s EQ can change – and arguably should change. The value of exploring and measuring your current emotional intelligence would be to identify areas that would be beneficial to develop.
The emotional intelligence model uses a tool (self-evaluation questionnaire) and a coach or trainer to aid in the emotional awareness and skill development of the participants. The Bar-On assessment evaluates the following scales:
Intrapersonal Components:
• Self-Regard • Emotional Self-Awareness • Assertiveness • Independence • Self-Actualization
Interpersonal Components:
• Empathy • Social Responsibility • Interpersonal Relationship
Stress Management Components:
• Stress Tolerance • Impulse Control
Adaptability Components:
• Reality Testing • Flexibility • Problem Solving
General Mood Components:
• Optimism • Happiness
Clearly there are elements of the EQ-i® that relate to elements of the Myers-Briggs model but there is no evidence to support that one “Type” or another would have a higher EQ score over another… unlike IQ, where studies have demonstrated consistently higher scores for certain Types over others.
One of the other major differences between EQ and Type is the components versus overall composite score aspect. In the Myers-Briggs model, it’s said that the “whole is greater than the some of its parts” meaning each of your four preferences will certainly have its own meaning in your life and how it plays out in your behavior, but it’s the combination of those four preferences and how they impact each other that is a greater behavioral indicator. The EQ, on the other hand, has greater meaning and value when exploring each individual element. The over all score – a composite average of the scores of the 15 elements – is not as valuable in determining a person’s EQ skills or abilities.
In the end, I think the EQ-i® is a great tool and I look forward to seeing how it can benefit the people I work with. As an MBTI practitioner, steeped in the Myers-Briggs vocabulary, I found it difficult to discuss observable behavior in the EQ class without using Type-language. I’m fortunate that most of the people I will be using EQ with also share that MBTI vocabulary… I look forward to the challenge of using the EQ model with someone who is unfamiliar with Type. The two tools do complement each other well.
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)
The purpose of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI) personality inventory is to make the theory of type-preference understandable and useful in people’s lives. Much of the seemingly random variations in behavior are actually quite orderly and consistent, being due to basic differences in the ways individuals prefer to use their perception (information gathering) and judgment (decision making).
What is Preference?
Our brains are all hard wired for preference. Like handedness, preference is the method that is most natural, dominant, and requires the least amount of effort. Preference is what you would choose if two alternatives were equally rewarded.Identifying your preference does not remove the option of using your non-preference, but can give you insight into what may be automatic – your default mode.Preferences are independent of skill or ability. If you are right handed and you write something with your right hand, there is no guarantee that it will be neat and legible. Likewise, if you are right handed and write something with your left hand, it’s not a given that it will be sloppy or illegible – with practice and focus on the desired skill of left-handed writing, you could actually get quite good at it!
The Dichotomies
There are 4 pairs of dichotomies that create 16 unique "Types"... your energy flow is described as either Introversion or Extraversion, your perceiving process is described as either Sensory or iNtuitive, your decision making process as either Thinking or Feeling and your outer-world orientation as option oriented (Perceiving) or closure oriented (Judging).
Learn More - Book a Workshop
I am available for one-on-one coaching sessions, buisiness workshops for executives or general staff audiences and have special workshops designed for church groups exploring the relationship between Type and Spiritual Gifts.
Contact us to book a workshop.
What is Preference?
Our brains are all hard wired for preference. Like handedness, preference is the method that is most natural, dominant, and requires the least amount of effort. Preference is what you would choose if two alternatives were equally rewarded.Identifying your preference does not remove the option of using your non-preference, but can give you insight into what may be automatic – your default mode.Preferences are independent of skill or ability. If you are right handed and you write something with your right hand, there is no guarantee that it will be neat and legible. Likewise, if you are right handed and write something with your left hand, it’s not a given that it will be sloppy or illegible – with practice and focus on the desired skill of left-handed writing, you could actually get quite good at it!
The Dichotomies
There are 4 pairs of dichotomies that create 16 unique "Types"... your energy flow is described as either Introversion or Extraversion, your perceiving process is described as either Sensory or iNtuitive, your decision making process as either Thinking or Feeling and your outer-world orientation as option oriented (Perceiving) or closure oriented (Judging).
Learn More - Book a Workshop
I am available for one-on-one coaching sessions, buisiness workshops for executives or general staff audiences and have special workshops designed for church groups exploring the relationship between Type and Spiritual Gifts.
Contact us to book a workshop.
Articles & Features
The following articles and features were written by HR CPR Consulting staff and published in a variety of print and online mediums:
Get to Work (cover story) - October 2008
Paining Over Performance Assessments? - September 2008
Managing Across the Generations - February 2008
Confidentiality in the Workplace (part 3) - May 2007
Confidentiality in the Workplace (part 2) - April 2007
Confidentiality in the Workplace (part 1) - March 2007
I Can't STRESS this Enough ... - September 2006
The ABCs of Interviewing - November 2005
Get to Work (cover story) - October 2008
Paining Over Performance Assessments? - September 2008
Managing Across the Generations - February 2008
Confidentiality in the Workplace (part 3) - May 2007
Confidentiality in the Workplace (part 2) - April 2007
Confidentiality in the Workplace (part 1) - March 2007
I Can't STRESS this Enough ... - September 2006
The ABCs of Interviewing - November 2005
Contracting with HR CPR
HR CPR consutants are available to meet your HR and organizational needs in a variety of ways and will tailor our services to meet your business's unique situation.
We can:
- Assist you meeting day-to-day HR challenges onsite or remotely
- Assist with your special HR projects through our office services
HR Outsourcing - If your organization has a need to have an onsite support from our consultants to fill a staffing gap or build infrastructure, ask us about our Interim HR Services.
Project-Based Consulting - Broad range of HR services include reviewing current company policies for gaps, updating company processes to comply with federal or state regulatory changes, creating employee manuals and providing training, coaching and other professional consulting related to human resources and organizational development.
Please contact us for a proposal and pricing.
About our Consultants ...
Edward Yost has over 15 years as a senior Human Resources professional with 13 years in corporate leadership roles. Edward has served as a hands-on generalist/leader tasked with building the HR function while simultaneously supporting aggressively growing organizations. His experience has been earned across an array of industries and business types from retail, marketing research, call centers, for-profit education, to banking. He has experience supporting large employee groups within a singular location as well as those geographically dispersed group across multiple states. Edward has experience working within both publicly traded organizations and privately held companies. Edward earned his Bachelor's degree from Fairmont State University and his Master's degree in Industrial & Labor Relations from West Virginia University. Prior to his career in Human Resources, Edward spent 7 years in retail management and 2 years in accounting.
Lauren Yost is a senior Human Resources professional with over 18 years of hands-on and leadership-level Human Resources and business operations experience. Her experience comes from multi-disciplined, generalist roles in manufacturing, corporate, sales/service and not-for-profit environments. She has published articles in P & R Magazine on Interviewing Skills for Managers, Effective Delegation, Managing Across the Generations, Job Hunting Skills for Graduates, Effective Performance Management and a 3-part series on Confidentiality in the Workplace. After receiving her Bachelor’s degree in Communications from Stetson University she earned certifications in Safety/OSHA compliance, HR law practices, wage & hour compliance, payroll administration, and facilities management. As a certified MBTI & EQ-i practitioner, certified Counselor (credentialed BCBC), and certified as a Professional Life Coach, Lauren has the ability to bring on-site training programs to a client to meet both individual needs or for large groups. Prior to her career in Human Resources, Lauren spent 4 years in office management and accounting.
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